Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Wardrobe Wars: Part 1

I hate my clothes.

Well, I hate how my clothes look on me.  And that's my fault.  After two children, I am just not in the same shape I was when I was in my early 20's.  Back then, I was cute, skinny (although I thought I was fat), rested.  I brushed my hair regularly, wore just enough makeup that you could tell I took the time, but not enough to look too made up.  I took time picking out my clothes making sure everything matched, including my shoes and my purse.  I even wore perfume.

Then I had kids.

My kids were not the reason I got lazy, it was actually only after Dexter was born where I really just gave up on myself.  And now for my excuses as to why:  I am still nursing so I find comfort in clothes that are nursing friendly.  I get thrown up on, peed on, pooped on, and spilled on.  Honestly, what is the point of wearing nice things.  This is what I tell myself.  Why should I take the extra step in making sure my shirts aren't stained if I know that halfway through the day I will just add to my stained collection.  I don't wear my hair down because it gets pulled and even mixed into the spit up, puke, whatever.  I also don't wear much make up at all anymore, just enough to not look like I am 12.  In short, I have severely let myself go.

Am I happy about this?  Hell no.  I hate that when I see myself in pictures I look like this fat person that ate my old self.  I get on the scale and see a number that I NEVER thought I would see, and I think, "self, you need to lose 40lbs."  Then I look at my daughter who weighs 42lbs and I find it INSANE that I need to lose a whole little person.  A WHOLE PERSON.  I don't want to live like this.  Not at all.  I want to have energy (more than I already do, can you imagine the projects I could get done with more energy?).  I want to get back into all the clothes currently in my closet since right now, I fit into only 6 shirts and two pairs of pants.  I want to start to like how I look again.

My birthday is tomorrow and I am turning 31.  I am publicly announcing that by my 32nd birthday, I want to fit into my goal jeans.  I am not looking to lose a certain amount of weight, I want to lose inches, although I know they will end up going hand in hand.  I know that once I start seeing results, I will take more time on my appearance, and I will also start feeling better about myself.  So, I am starting yet another segment.  Wardrobe Wars.

We joined the YMCA a couple weeks ago and my goal is to go no less than three times a week but I am shooting for 5 days a week.  It will be good for Lucy because she will be able to play with the kids in the play place.  It will be good for Dexter because maybe, just maybe, he will start to like someone other than me.  And it will be good for me, because I need to get off my ass and on a treadmill.

Will I post pictures?  Maybe.  I am so ashamed of how I look right now, I don't know if I am ready to share that with the world.  But I might.  Either way, I am hoping for the blogging communities encouragement.

And now for a few "rules:"


  • I will get up early, and get to the gym no later than 8:30am so that I don't get lazy
  • I will eat better (which we already eat pretty well)
  • I will not drink so much soda
  • I am not buying another article of clothing (a winter jacket, christmas jammies and a sweater or two are the exception) until after January when I want to hit my first goal
  • I am not going to focus on the scale so much as I am going to focus on how my jeans fit
And there you have it.  It's now written on the internet for all the world to see.  So, kick my butt, ask me every day in comments if I went to the Y, ask me to tell you what I did in my work out that day.  Hold me accountable for my goals.  I want to feel good again, I want to get less lazy and I want to fit into those damned jeans in my closet again.  

Anyone else want to join me?

5 comments:

  1. Good for you for wanting to do this! I know how easy it is to put yourself on the back burner until there is barely anything left of yourself! You are inspiring me to recommit myself! Let's do this!

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  2. I need to recommit myself too. I am with you it will help me meet my next WW goal

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  3. I need to recommit myself too. I am with you it will help me meet my next WW goal

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  4. I just lost about 200 lbs....The secret is easy.....Don't eat!!!....Best of luck, U will feel so much better, I promise!!!

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  5. Congratulations on your goal! I had my second child in June of 2011 and since then have lost 26 pounds. I feel amazing! It IS possible. Easy? No way. But my theory is that if you want it badly enough, you'll find that self control and self discipline down inside yourself and you'll do it, dangit.

    1) Drink tons of water. Tons.
    2) Count calories, as annoying as it is.
    3) Exercise.
    4) Brush your teeth after dinner so you don't find yourself snacking all evening.
    5) Keep a journal, regarding what you eat and what exercise you do.

    You can do it!

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