You have to understand that it was my gallbladder doctor that pushed me to go to Virginia Mason in Seattle when I wasn't really showing much improvement. He pushed hard. The IG doctors at Evergreen seemed to push back just as hard. They didn't want to send me. Their answer was to insert a feeding tube and then send me home and then just have me come back in for more tests. In my head this sounded just ridiculous. I couldn't understand why they would give me a feeding tube and then just send me on my way. How was I going to live a normal life and get better with this thing in my nose.
But finally, my gallbladder doctor pulled through and got me transferred. I got to Virginia Mason on Saturday (or maybe it was Sunday, man the days are running together) and of course the EMTs they sent to transfer me were super cute.
We drove over the 520 bridge to get to the city, it was great seeing the outside again. Matt met my dad and me at the hospital where a swam of doctors decided what floor I would be assigned to and they started on my course of care. See I became somewhat of a special case, I had this pooling of fluid around my kidneys and pancreas that was somewhat abnormal. They needed to decide if they were going to act very aggressively or not as the next few days came along. They decided to not be too aggressive. They could have gone in with a scope and checked things out, they could have gone in with a big ol needle to test the fluid, but inside they decided to wait and see how I did on my own.
I was given a feeding tube, since at this point I was lacking in nutrition and they wanted my body to try and start healing itself. Getting the feeding tube has to be the very worst thing ever that you have to do. It hurts so bad. It's so uncomfortable. It's so awkward. But they started the feedings soon after it was installed and I started feeling better. After 24 hours of having the feeding tube, they decided to let me have clear fluids. I did well tolerating those too.
Soon I was only on the feeding tube for night feeds and during the day, I was responsible for feeding myself. It's hard to eat when you have something lodged in your throat. It's hard to remember that you have a tube in the way when you are trying to eat also. But I am trying. And that is what counts.
Nights have been really hard. The pain meds have caused me to have severe anxiety at night, so now I have opted for anti anxiety meds at night instead of pain meds and last night, I actually slept for the first night in about a week. My dad left on Wednesday too, and I miss having him here with his encouragement and support, but the hardest part is not seeing my kids. I try to skype, facetime and call them through out the day, but it's hard and I usually end up crying. They come for a little bit in the evenings too after Matt gets home from work, but it's usually late so they are about ready for bed and get really restless.
So in the long run, I am doing better. It will take a while to be back to 100% and I will basically have to relearn to eat, completely low fat, no alcohol, probably less coffee. But these are things I am willing to do so that I can get better, get home to my kids and back to my life. I am bored. I am lonely, I am just read. 14 days is too many days in the hospital....(to be continued).